M CENTRAL INSIGHT
// general

The One Major Upside of Divorce That No One Ever Expects

By William Rodriguez
kid holding a teddy bear in front of two parents who are arguing
Shutterstock

As Chris Pratt knows, getting divorced is no fun. If you've been married a long time and the decision isn't mutual, getting divorced can feel like losing a limb. Previous studies have even shown that splitting up can even shorten your lifespan, largely because people tend to adopt bad lifestyle habits like smoking and substance abuse to deal with the pain.

Still, divorce has one big benefit: the opportunity it gives you to start a new life. After all, people don't get divorced after one bad day. If you're going your separate ways, chances are you've been unhappy for a long time, and splitting up offers you the chance to travel, pursue a new hobby, and find happiness with someone else.

But there's another upside to divorce people often don't recognize. Anyone who says that they're just staying together "for the kids" is making a fairly dicey gamble. A 2015 University Central Florida study of 233 college students from divorced and intact families found that those who came from "broken" homes actually often had more successful relationships than those whose parents stayed together. Another study found that some children who experience divorce actually learn from their parent's mistakes and use those lessons in their love lives, leading one expert to conclude that "divorce can strengthen kids' ability to sustain successful relationships, but only if their parents stay supportive throughout the ordeal."

This research indicates that growing up in a "good" divorce has more of a positive impact than growing up in a "bad" marriage. After all, kids are intuitive, and as much as you may try to hide it, they pick up on tension between their parents, and it can cause disrupted early brain development, sleep disturbance, anxiety, depression, and other behavioral issues.

There's also no rule stating that your divorce has to get ugly. In fact, in recent years, it's become increasingly popular to take a "divorce selfie" that proves that the split is amicable and that, just because two people decided to no longer live, together doesn't mean they don't still love and respect one another enormously.

View this post on Instagram

Life doesn't always work out the way we think it will…the way we imagined. In our twelve years, we signed a lot of papers together. Today, we signed the last documents we will ever sign…together. Thankful for all the lessons and memories, as well as the growth achieved through our time together. The realist in me knows that I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my experiences and time with you. And that, brings me to this – thank you. #divorceselfie #itisdone #divorce #single #allthecliches #truth #growth #exes #nohardfeelings #movingon #newbeginnings #newchapter #flipthepage #thanksthatwasfun #noregrets #loveyourlife #whatsmeanttobe #goodtimes #hardtimes #countonme #alwayshere #thankful #grateful #februaryeleventh

A post shared by Em (@blondeshavemorefun13) on

So, if you're thinking about getting a divorce, know that all the research shows that being a good parent has a much bigger impact on a child's life than having a longterm union. And for more amazing parenting advice, be sure you know all about these 30 Things Parents Have to Worry About Now That They Didn't 30 Years Ago.

To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram!

Diana Bruk Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness.Read moreFiled Under •  • Read This Next
  • couple signing divorce papers, empty nest

    40 Best Ways to Prepare for Divorce

    These tips are sure to help make the process as painless as possible. January 12, 2018
  • An unhappy couple sitting at a table with divorce documents and their wedding bands.

    20 Effects of Divorce People Don't Talk About

    Therapists and divorce lawyers share what it's really like when a marriage dissolves.February 23, 2023
  • divorce secrets

    25 Secrets Your Divorce Lawyer Won't Tell You

    Make sure you don't get bled dry by the fine print.January 4, 2019
  • divorce

    40 Reasons Getting Divorced In Your 40s Isn't So Bad

    Flying solo at the pinnacle of your life offers a treasure trove of opportunity.December 29, 2017
  • older couple fighting with each other in kitchen

    40 Signs You'll Get Divorced in Your 40s

    Don't ignore these signs you're on a one-way path to splitsville.November 27, 2018
  • woman taking off a wedding ring sitting at a table going over divorce paperwork, bad parenting advice

    40 Worst Things You Can Do After Getting Divorced

    Don't think of a split as the end. Think of it as a new beginning.October 23, 2018
  • divorce over 40

    15 Surprising Things That Increase Your Risk of Divorce

    Kids will keep you together, but only if they're cute. December 22, 2018
  • 30 compliments

    The 30 Best Compliments to Give People Over 30

    A small, thoughtful comment can go a very long way.January 17, 2018
  • Eiffel Tower, Paris, propose, proposal signs

    This Is the Best Time of Year to Propose

    Hint: It's not Christmas Eve. February 6, 2018
  • celebrity photo secrets

    20 Easy Ways to Be Less Mean

    A little kindness goes a long way. April 3, 2018